So I am in front of my computer again for most of the day today. I am editing photos that I took for a wedding. (Its a little side hobby).
The more photos I edit...not just these ones..but like so many I have done before..I start to really look at the faces ...into the faces and wonder.
All eyes have a story in them and today in the pictures I am doing..this is supposed to be an incredibly happy day....and I am seeing a lot of hurt and sadness. Some fake smiles and family that I can tell really don't want to be there..putting on their best faces for the day.
I think we all play the fake card. We just don't have pictures that catch and still our emotions on a daily basis. And are life situations and not getting along with one another ..really that important that we hold on to it so tightly and it becomes bitterness and radiates out of us...so that it is now visible to everyone around us?
My grandfather passed away a couple of months ago..and I was having a very hard time with some issues that had just popped up out of nowhere. He came out and told us he was gay. I have alot of gay friends and family that are gay. I love them all. They are all wonderful people...but I could not bring myself to love my grandpa the way I look at these other people. He was a hardened man..never had a nice thing to say about anybody and that was really hard to be around..or want my boys to be around. Anyway....God had really been working in my heart..with alot of prayer, and alot of searching within myself. I knew eventually I should talk with my grandpa..if not for him...for me..to heal myself and have peace.
My grandpa passed away without me ever saying I loved him or telling him of Gods love. I have torn myself up for too long over this and God has shown me lessons I needed to learn... Wisdom in teaching my boys...and Love.
I really hope I can remember to let go of my bitterness and hatred...when I or someone I know is wronged. I don't want to have a look apon my face of hardness..and I don't want to be the cause of someone elses. I don't want to look at my family photos and see these things...or in any photos of any friends I have ever met along the way and see such emotion in their eyes and know I may have caused that. I know you cant make everyone happy..or help everyone..but I now know that I can change who I am and how I approach people and maybe I can edit my life.......who knows it could edit someone elses too. :)
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Wow... this posting spoke so much to me. Working in the hospital, we are taught to wear a mask when dealing with our patients. For me, it comes second nature. However, there are times when I walk into a patients room and want to take that mask off and say. God loves you... Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you alone? Why? Yes, sometimes... there seems to be more whys than anwsers. It's amazing to me though, as I walk through the halls sometimes and watch the nurses and doctors. A hospital is the one place in the world, where we see miracles everyday but because of the mask we all wear. No one says anything. So sometimes... I wish we could do some editing in other people's lives! I know I don't have all the anwsers and pretty sure I would say something wrong, due to my diarrhea of the mouth issue but I would pray... God give me something to say!!!
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